Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
