You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
