After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
