Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
