I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
i out mim tonsoeep
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