I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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