Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
