filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I enjoy the company of your penis
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
