More tranny stories later!
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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