Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
