sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
