Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
