There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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