Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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