the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
