Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
