I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
