I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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