It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Randomize
