Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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