i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
