I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize