"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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