my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
