Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
