I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
