sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
