Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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