I feel great
I just peed on a car
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
