it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
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Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
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Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
there is puke in my bra ... again
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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