Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
