hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
