this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
