Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
