Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
