You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Randomize
