Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
