This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize