3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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