I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
