I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize