I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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