I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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