in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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