Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
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once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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