Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
