KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
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I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
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I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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