Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize