Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
