we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
