I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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