I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
