Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
My underwear smells like fireworks.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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