I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
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He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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