Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
