i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
