there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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