i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
