My room smells like vodka and shame
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
