Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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